There was this case in the hospital’s Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM. So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil…….. Just when the clock struck 11… Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner !!

One cannot achieve succeess with every film. Audiences can be unpredictable. The failure could be due to a bad script or characterisation. All this is a part of the learning process. – Amitabh Bachchan (Actor, Producer) I refuse to be a doormat to any man. I will never allow anyone to push me around. I am my own mistress. – Manisha Koirala (Actress) Why should I try to imitate Kajol? I am not a mimicry artist. – Rani Mukherjee (Actress) It’s strange that Rakesh Roshan thinks I look older than Hrithik. In fact, he’s approached me for all his home productions. – Aishwarya Rai (Actress) Just because I’m an actress, why should anyone dare to assume that I have no morals? – Preity Zinta (Actress) I still have a long way to go. People will realise the difference between Shah Rukh Khan and a one-movie-wonder like me. – Hrithik Roshan (Actor)

Kesto Mukherjee had a little too much to drink one day. He was driving home from the bar one night and, of course, his car was weaving violently all over the road. A hawaldar pulls him over and asked, “kahan se aa rahe ho?” “Iiiizzzzze! daru khane se! izzzeezzzeh!” slurs Kesto. “Lagta hai ke aapne bahot pee rakhi hai” “Hehheha. Lekin mai thik hu!” Kesto says in his usual style. “Lekin aapko pata hai,” says the hawaldar, “kuchh der pahle pahle aapki biwi car se gir gayi? “Iiizzzzzezzzeeh! Tab to sab thik hai” sighs Kesto, “thodi der ke liye to apne ko laga…izzzezze…ke apun behra ho gaya hun….hehhehe”.

Some Film titles may be like these : — ** Munna Bhi MCSA ** Kal MSN Ho Na Ho ** Love in mIRC ** Tere Nick ** ID Mil Gaya ** Chat To Kero ** Ek Programmer Thi ** Yeh Hack Horaha Hai ** Hum Pyar PC Se Kar Baithe ** Network Ke Us Paar ** Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai ** Aao Chat Kare ** C Wale Job Le Jayenge ** Programmer No.1 ** Mera Naam Developer ** Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein ** Do Processor, Baarah Terminal ** Tera Code Chal Gaya ** Har Din Jo Mail Karega ** Debugging Koi Khel Nahi ** Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehatha Hai ** Raju Ban Gaya MCSE ..! ** Client Ek Numbari, C Programmer Dus Numbari ** Login Karo Sajana ** Naukar PC Ka ** 1942 — A Bug Story ** Kaho Na Virus Hai ** Crash Se Crash Tak ** Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai ** Shaheed Hacker Singh ** Password De Ke Dekho ** Terminal Apna , Login Parayi ** Mr. Network Lal ** Terminal Sajaake Rakhna ** Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani ** Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha ** Phir Theri Java-script Yaad Aayi ** Hang To Hona Hi Tha.

When I am: Kareeb There is only: Khamoshi I want to speak: Dil Se That’s my kind of: Ishq I want this to be: Gupt As I always have: Darr That I will loose you: Sajani And that would be great: Sadma I am your: Mr.Aashique But sometimes bit: Deewana Tell me: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun As I feel : Kuch Kuch Hota Hai In this : Duniya Dilwalon Ki I told you: Maine Pyar Kiya May be : Dil To Pagal Hai Because: Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai The whole world appears as: Dushman But anyway: Pyar To Hona Hi Tha..

* DO loop Sau saal pehle, mujhe tumse pyaar tha Aaj bhi hai, aur kal bhi rahega * IF THEN ELSE Tum agar mujhko na chaaho to koi baat nahin Magar kisi aur ko chaahogi to mushkil hogi. * RETURN statement aa laut ke aaja mere meet tujhe mere geet bulaate hain * Procedure call aaja re ab mera dil pukaara * malloc() Yaad kiya dilne kahan ho tum? * exit(), suspend Ruk jaa o jaane waali ruk jaa * for(::), the infinite loop hum tum, yug yug se ye geet milan ke gaate rahe hain, gaate rahenge hum tum… * [remote login:] tumse kuchh kehna hai, gar tum kuch kehne do * [ network busy ] suno – kaho, kaha – suna, kucha huwa kya? abhee to nahin… * Two Recursive functions calling each other muze kuch kahana hein, muze bhee kuch kahena hein pahle tum, pahle tum….. * extern variable hum hein rahee pyaar ke, humse kucha bhee na boliye jo bhee pyar se mila hum usike ho liye * static/local variable Jeena yahaan, marna yahaan iske siwa jaana kahan * SUBROUTINE Akela hoon mai, es duniya mein, na koi sathee hai…… * Mental state after a CLEAN COMPILE Ek punjaban dil churake le gayee, hai…… sona sona …… dil mera sona….. * Completion of DESIGN SPECIFICATION Chanda se hoga woh pyara, phoolon se hoga woh nyara, nachega aangan mei chamcham, nanha sa munna hamara….. * FILE NOT FOUND Na tum hame jano, na hum tumhe jane, magar lagta hai kutch aisa…… * Global application Mera juuta hai japanee, yeh patloon enlishtani, sar pe lal topy roosi phir bhi dil hai hindustani……

Finally, here is some warning given out in good faith! Shaadi ke pehle – Agar Tum Na Hote:( Shaadi ke baad – Agar Tum Na Hote:) Shaadi ke pehle – Maine Pyar Kiya Shaadi ke baad – Ye Maine Kya Kiya? Shaadi ke pehle – Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Shaadi ke baad – Kuch Nahi Hota Hai Shaadi ke pehle – Dil To Pagal Hai Shaadi ke baad – Dil To Pagal Tha Shaadi ke pehle – Ek Duje Ke Liye Shaadi ke baad – Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye Shaadi ke pehle – Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Shaadi ke baad – Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge Shaadi ke pehle – Chandramukhi Shaadi ke baad – Jwaalamukhi Shaadi ke pehle – Kuwara Baap Shaadi ke baad – Bechara Baap Shaadi ke pehle – Titanic Shaadi ke baad – Mortgage Shaadi ke pehle – Hum Aapke Hai Koun? Shaadi ke baad – Barbadi Ka Kaaran Shaadi ke pehle – Yes Boss:) Shaadi ke baad – Yes Boss:( Shaadi ke pehle – Mere Sapno Ki Rani Shaadi ke baad – Chutki Ki Amma Shaadi ke pehle – Kabhi Kabhi Shaadi ke baad – If you are lucky Shaadi ke pehle – Aao Pyar Karen Shaadi ke baad – Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen? Shaadi ke pehle – Hum Apke Hain Shaadi he baad – Hum Apke Hai Koun?

Keshto Mukherjee’s wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature she replied that she hadn’t but would and then call back.
When she hadn’t called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked what had happened. She said ‘Well, I didn’t have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint and he went off to work!’

Amitabh – Han han mein chor hun, mein bazar mein kaladhandha karta hun,
police ke record mein mera naam hai. Lekin mein akela nahin hun. Jao pahle
ush admi ko msg de kar aao jisne mera baap ko chor kaha tha: Jao pahle ush
admi ko msg de kar aao jisne meri maa ko gali deke naukri se nikal diya
tha: jao pahle ush aadmi ko msg de kar aao jisne mere haath me yeh likh
diya tha: Uske BAAD, Uske baad mere bhai tum jab chahoge tab mere m/c
mein msg de dena.

Dharmendra – Kut…

If Guru Dutt had been a software consultant in the US.
(The following should be sung to the tune of an old Hindi classic song sung by late Mohammed Rafi. “Yeh Duniya agar mil bhi jayaye to kya hai…”)
YEH DOCUMENT, YEH MEETINGS, YEH FEATURES KI DUNIYA
YEH INSAAN KE DUSHMAN, CURSORS KI DUNIYA
YEH DEADLINES KE BHOOKE, MANAGEMENT KI DUNIYA
YEH PRODUCT AGAR BAN BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
YAHAAN EK KHILONA HAI PROGRAMMER KI HASTI
YEH BASTI HAI MURDA BUG-FIXERS KI BASTI
YAHAAN…